Have you ever been betrayed? Have you ever betrayed another?
Several years back, my best friend walked away because she said I betrayed her. I couldn’t understand for the life of me what I had done. I rehearsed words I had said, things I had done, and I could not see where I had betrayed her at all. I was so confused and so wounded that she would walk away from what I thought was a beautiful, God-honoring friendship. It hurt. It hurt deep. And I made an inner vow that I would NEVER have a close friendship like that EVER again.
One day, I was sitting outside in my backyard with the Lord. I began to ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to me what I had done to cause her to believe I had betrayed her. He revealed a time when someone had made a true statement about my friend, and I had agreed, rather than defending. I had never even thought about that as betrayal. I was brokenhearted. While I had worked so hard at being a great friend, I was the one who had wounded.
I knew I had to call her, but was so pulled within my emotions, as her rejection had wounded me so much. I knew the Holy Spirit was telling me to call her, so I called and told her how sorry I was for betraying her. She was very gracious, apologized for hurting me, and God restored our friendship. It is not where is was but it is where it needs to be.
I learned a lot about betrayal: 1) it doesn’t matter if you felt like you betrayed the person or not; if they felt betrayed by you, then it was betrayal to them and you need to make it right if at all possible (“As far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.”) 2) the right thing to do is to seek forgiveness, not blame the other and wait for them to seek it, 3) the most loving thing you can do is also forgive them, because of the need of forgiveness you’ve had in your own life….especially in need of the forgiveness of God given through Jesus.
Jesus knew the pain of betrayal. He was really betrayed by all of the disciples as they were disloyal to Him and left Him in His greatest hour of need. Jesus wants to help you forgive and learn to love again. He wants to lead you to people that will hold your heart well and help you learn to trust again. I pray you will take some time to get into His presence and talk with Him about this. Let Him heal your heart and tell you the next steps to take to make things right with your brother or sister in Christ.