Keeping Your Marriage HOT!

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The weather in Birmingham, Alabama has been cold….real cold. There were a couple of days when I could not get warm for anything in the world! Ever had those days? I decided to make myself a hot cup of coffee. But after I made it, I got caught up on the phone with a friend. I went back into the kitchen, stuck the cup in the microwave and heated it up, only to be called upstairs to the office with a question. I came back down and my coffee was cold….again. I stuck it BACK in the microwave and heated it yet another time. This time, I totally forgot about it. Later on that night, Dale opened the microwave door to pop him some popcorn and yelled, “Whose coffee?”

Please tell me I am not alone in forgetting about my coffee and letting it get cold not once, but THREE times!

How often we hear about couples whose love has grown cold. I was reminded of the Scripture where Jesus said that there would come a day when the love of many would grow cold. (Matthew 24:12) Then, I thought about my cold day, and my cup of coffee that continually grew cold. Why? Why did it grow cold? And why does our love for others grow cold?


Here are my thoughts:

distractions: so often, I get distracted with all the demands of my life. Love grows cold by busy-ness.

needs: people who need me, get my attention, leaving out those most important to me. Love grows cold by neglect.

consumption: my thoughts get consumed with worry. Love grows cold by forgetfulness.

wounds: the betrayal, rejection, and abandonment of others hurts us until we get numb. Love grows cold from pain.


My thoughts then ran to this: when I cook something, I take it out of the oven once it is cooked. If I leave it out long enough, it grows cold. Taken out of a warm environment, it slowly cools to the temperature around it. It grows cold.


Might I suggest that maybe love grows cold when we remove ourselves from loving environments. May I further suggest that if we want our love to grow hot again, we might need to place ourselves in loving environments. Amazing: just as I was writing this, I received a Facebook message from a friend with a caption that said, “If you want to stay on fire, surround yourself with people, who are burning.” True that.

 If you want to stay on fire, surround yourself with people who are burning.

Distractions, the needs of others, the consuming thoughts of worry and stress, and the consistent pain others cause us, can pull us from the warmth of God’s love. We can soon find ourselves growing cold toward others. Without even knowing it, we have either stepped into or created an environment around us that is void of love.


So what do we do? One way is certainly to surround ourselves with loving people. Put yourself back in a loving environment and you are sure to begin to warm up!


The Matthew 24:12 verse says that the reason our love grows cold is because of evil in this world, people not doing what the Bible tells us to do. Think about that: when you start seeing people cut in line, when people are rude to you for no reason, when people mistreat another in front of you, when people steal, kill, and abuse for the fun of it, you begin to guard yourself. Your defenses go up and you are constantly on guard, almost growing callous to the feelings of others. That’s love grown cold.


I think this verse also gives us a primary way to either get the warmth of love back or guard ourselves from having our love grow cold, and that is: by obeying God’s Word about love. Here’s what He tells us to do:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7


So, if we want to keep our love aflame, we must surround ourselves with loving people in loving environments, and we must begin to practice the love of God as depicted in the Bible.

 Surround Ourselves with Loving People in Loving Environments

Practice the Love of God as Depicted in the Bible

And finally, let me say this: my coffee would have never heated back up without a source of heat…the microwave. Your love will never heat back up or remain heated, without the Source of all love; and that, is God. God is love. God created love. He created you because of love. And He continues to love you whether deserving or not. His love is not conditional upon your behavior. He just loves you, because He made you. And without that truth permeating your heart, you will never really understand love, nor be able to receive it, nor give it away.


God is love. A very present, never-ending, unconditional love. Receive it. Receive Him. Let His love surround you. Then, give it away.

[to find out more about this LOVE, order your LOVE book today and start your journey deeper into the heart of the Creator of LOVE itself!!! Click HERE!!!]

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

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